The Dunn Haven

A Sense of Humor

2017

Quoting his journal cover Brayden said, “imagining is more important than knowledge.” Frankenstein (ummm that was Albet Einstein… but close!)

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Brayden: Yay! Conservation hearts!

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Brayden: We got to see the Decoration of Independence.

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Doctor talking to Matt: I am teaching Doctors how to put in spine implants.

McKay (very interested): What are spy implants?

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Brayden’s piano teacher points to the treble clef and says, “What is this?”

Brayden: The trouble clef

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Brayden: My new year’s revelation… I mean my new year’s revolution is to run on the treadmill

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Brayden (using his sounding out skills when we part at the hospital): FysiKan parking.

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Brayden: If you chomp, chomp, chomp and glug, glug, glug, you will need to go, go, go.

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Mckay: That’s the Achillis tendon

2016

Matt: Legos breed under the bed

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Matt: It’s a preservative.

McKay (thinking he is repeating Matt): It’s a conservative.

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Tyson: I bought some Topeka flour (tapioca flour)

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Brayden: I was mechanicking under the car

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Brayden scribbling.

Matt: What are you doing?

Brayden: I’m writing a letter to the Easter bunny in imaginary language.

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After dropping off Tyson at a youth activity and dance.

McKay: Why does he get to go? What are they doing there?

Me: Playing Games

McKay: No Fair. I wanna go.

Me: Eating Dinner

McKay: No Fair. I wanna go.

Me: Dancing

McKay: You mean with girls?

Me: Yes.

McKay: Ewwww. I don’t want to go to those activities. I won’t go to them when I’m older.

Brayden: Ewwww. Me neither.

McKay: Well, maybe I would go and just not do the dance part.

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Brayden (with lower lip out and arms folded): McKay is so talented. I don’t have any talents.

Me: You have so many talents. You just aren’t as old as McKay so it is hard that he can do things differently.

Brayden: I don’t have any talents.

Me: I love your smile. You can always make me smile with your smile.

Smile.

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Brayden (to his classmates): My mom is from the olden days…before phones or computers.

Me: There were phones and computers when I was little.

Brayden: But you had to plug them into the wall.

Case closed. I’m from the olden days.

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Cutler: And they won’t be your brother- so don’t think they will have any scrupples [scruples] about telling you how they feel.

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Tyson: You’re making me feel unconscious (meant to say self-conscious)

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On a very hot summer day (we don’t have air conditioning)

Brayden: I feel like I’m the gingerbread man.

Me: Why do you feel like that?

Brayden: I feel like I’m in an oven.

Me: Me too!

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We spent time outside almost every day for a month of the summer moving rocks out of the middle of our yard. To motivate the kids, I paid them based on how hard they worked. I found that Brayden has an interesting way to interpret the value of money.

Me: Brayden, you earned a dollar. Keep working so you can earn some more money.

Brayden: How many gumballs does that buy?

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McKay: I have tetris [turrets] syndrome

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Brayden: If you go to Brazil without me, I want a KID sitter. Not a BABY sitter.

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A waiter accidentally brought Brayden a coke instead of root beer at a restaurant. Brayden drank it and said it was gross so we tasted it and realized it was coke.

Brayden (worriedly): I drank coke? Oh no, am I drunk?

Me: No it is okay. Coke is not alcohol. We don’t drink it because it has caffeine.

Brayden: phew

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Brayden (advice to McKay): If I were you, I would listen to my mother.

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McKay: Is that the loch ness monster? [pronounced loch not lock]

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Brayden looked through my journal and saw that it was just a lot of words.

Brayden: My journal is more like a picture book.

Me: Yes, and you are the illustrator!

Brayden: In my journal, I am the author AND the illustrator.

2015

After the boys pitched in (at my request and helped make dinner and clean up after)

Me: Isn’t it much better for all of us to work together. It makes it easier and faster.

Cutler: Yeah, I don’t know how you ever got along without us!

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Lately McKay has been experimenting with combining words and seeing what words they make.

We went to San Diego and then to Mexico. He excitedly exclaimed: We went to SEX ICO.

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Enjoying a nice walk on the beach and learning about the tide pools, the kids especially enjoyed feeding muscles to the see anemones. It was cool to watch them close up and digest the muscles.

Brayden: I like to feed the enemies.

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Me: What are all these (unused) Kleenex’s doing all over your floor?

Brayden: I was crying because the boys wouldn’t play with me.

Me: But why are there so many?

Brayden: Because I thought I was going to cry all day.

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Me: I hope your room is clean. I might have to feed some of your stuff to “grouchy couchy”. (If I pick up their stuff for them it goes on the couch and they have to clean other things up to earn it back. It makes the couch “grouchy”)

Brayden slyly closes the door to his bedroom.

Brayden: By the way, we are not going to pray in here tonight.

And then after we pray…

Brayden: You don’t need to sing me to sleep anymore. I can sing to myself.

There is no reason I need to go in his room and even see the mess.

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Teaching Cutler about how to measure something by putting water in and then adding the butter up to the next level you want to measure…

Cutler: Oh…this is like density displacement.

All righty then. I think he’s got it.

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Brayden has a great vocabulary and ability to express himself. Here are just a couple of examples.

Setting: Brayden and I are sitting in his playhouse enjoying some quiet time together.

Me: This is fun up here.

Brayden: That’s true. It is very spacious.

Me: What does spacious mean.

Brayden: A large place with a lot of room.

Me: That is a good description of the word spacious.

Or this one I overheard.

Brayden: That looks like an afro.

Lila: What is an afro?

Brayden: It is large hair that is extremely curly.

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Brayden: I think that Satan created 3 things. Cactii, fire ants, and owies.

Brayden has not had good experiences with any of these things so apparently he has attributed them to being from Satan.

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Brayden: That cloud looks like a pig, a dinosaur, and President Thomas S. Monson! (????)

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Brayden: (in a robot monotone) I am a Ro-bot.

The kids (knowing Brayden’s greatest weakness): Robots don’t eat candy.

Brayden: (without missing a single beat and in the same monotone) This one does.

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Matt: Welcome everyone to Family Night.

Brayden: Welcome everyone to Family Night.

Matt: Say that we are glad Grandma could be here.

Brayden: We are glad Grandma could be here.

Matt: And all the kids too.

Brayden: And all the kids too.

Matt: Even though they are rugrats.

Brayden: Even though they are rugrats.

Matt: (enjoying the fact that Brayden is exactly copying him) Even Brayden is a rugrat.

Brayden: (with a sly smile) And Daddy is a brat.

Normally the use of that word would be chastised but none of us could help but breaking out in laughter at his sudden break from copying Matt in a devious manner.

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Me: I haven’t bought anything for your birthday. I guess you aren’t going to have a present. (Just joking with Cutler, trying to get a rise out of him.)

Cutler: That’s okay. I don’t need anything.

Me: Oh, you are so sweet.

Cutler: You make me dinner every night. That should be a present enough.

Ohhhh.

2014

Matt: What happened to my sauerkraut?

Brayden: What is Sour Crap?

I try to encourage them not to say “crap” but I really could not help laughing at what I considered to be a pretty good description of sauerkraut!

And then just a couple days later it snuck into our vocabulary again while we were making s’mores:

McKay: Where is my Graham Crapper?

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Me: Brayden, you are so cute.

Brayden: I AM NOT! I am adorable, awesome, and cool.

It makes him really mad to be called cute. But sometimes I can’t help it. I guess he has come up with his own list of acceptable alternative words. I can go with adorable J

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Me: Tchau (Bye in Portuguese)

Brayden: Ka-chow (His Lightning McQueen version of Bye in Portuguese)

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Brayden: Daddy, why do you have hairies under your armpits?

Matt: Because I am a Daddy.

Brayden: When will I get hairies under my armpits?

Matt: When you are about 14.

Brayden: Yay! Will I be 14 on my next birthday?

Brayden: Boys! Boys! When I turn 14 I will have hairies under my armpits!

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Brayden: HOLY COW!

Matt: Cows aren’t Holy

Brayden: HOLY HORSIES!

2013

Brayden: If you don’t give that back to me I’m going to scream and throw a fit.

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Brayden: There’s smoke inside of me. (Blows) Look, I’m smoking.

Daddy: You’re not smoking. It is cold outside when the air leaves your body it freezes.

Brayden: Ohhh! (Blows again)

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Brayden was climbing on the playground toys at park one day and fell and hit his chin hard. He needed stitches and since we just happen to have a doctor in the house, Matt gave him the stitches. As a result we heard this a lot:

Brayden: My daddy gave me itches.

Other person: Your daddy gave you what?

Brayden (lifting his chin): See?

Other person: Ohhh!

When he got them out, he started telling people that his daddy took his “itches” out.

He has an impeccable vocabulary with lots of big words but there are some words that he doesn’t say right and I don’t correct him because it is so cute:

I want Yucky Charms (Lucky Charms)

Let me help you with your sheeps (sheets on the bed)

I went to the hostible with Daddy (hospital of course)

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McKay has been checking out some books at the library that are not my favorite from the Junie B. Jones series and the Stink books series. I don’t think they teach good morals, etc. so I have discouraged him from checking them out and encouraged him to find other more uplifting books.

So one day he came home and his backpack was unusually heavy.

Me: What do you have in here?

McKay: I checked out a Bible.

Me: We have plenty of bibles, why did you check out a bible?

McKay: Because I knew it would be a good book.

I just smiled. What could I say?

Because we already have them at home he never even took it out of his backpack. He just carried it back and forth every day for two weeks before he checked it back in. But I know he felt the weight of that book and felt good inside because he knew he had a good book. The next book he checked out was from The Magic Tree House Series. Good choice.

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As you will see, Brayden is starting to have his own personality come into our conversations . . . he is the star of quite a few of the following conversations. And so cute!

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Brayden: I have a loose tooth.

Someone wants to be like McKay who really does have a loose tooth. And a few days later:

Brayden: Can daddy pull out my tooth today.

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Me: Are you ready to go?

Brayden: Yes, but daddy isn’t.

Me: Why?

Brayden: He isn’t dressed.

Me: What is he wearing?

Brayden: Angry Birds.

Arizona’s professional football team is the Cardinals and their logo is a side shot of a Cardinal, and come to think of it is somewhat angry looking! Matt was wearing a Cardinal’s t-shirt.

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Each day before we say dinner prayers, we go around the table and share something that we are grateful for and something we need help with in our lives.

One day, Matt and I had taken Brayden to Chik-fil-A while the boys were in school. This is the day we learned we can’t keep secrets from the older boys.

Me: Brayden, what are you grateful for?

Brayden: Chik-il-A

A moment goes by while everyone registers what he said.

Cutler, McKay, & Tyson (in unison): Hey, When did you go to Chik-Fil-A?

Oops.

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We recently went on a trip to San Diego. Brayden didn’t even know what the beach was, but from the boys preparations for it he was so excited to go to the beach. After driving for 4 hours we stopped at McDonalds for breakfast. He jumped out of the car and exclaimed, “Where’s the beach?”

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We had been home from San Diego for just 2-3 days when Brayden came traipsing down the stairs with his suitcase backpack filled with clothes.

Me: What are you doing?

Brayden: Can I go back to San Diego?

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A couple of days after Cutler got his braces, Brayden apparently had enough of looking at his dirty teeth. After obtaining a baby wipe from the bathroom he approached Cutler.

Brayden: Here Cutler, I will wash your teeth for you.

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Brayden (a couple days after he learned about freckles): I have a nickel (freckle) on my knee.

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One day while volunteering in Cutler’s class I had the following conversation with one of the girls:

Girl: How old are you anyway?

Me: I am 36.

Girl: Oh, that is not how old I thought you were.

Me: How old did you think I was?

Girl: 43!

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But I don’t feel too bad because this observation at a friend’s birthday party is even more outrageous. The candles on the cake were 2 numbers with the age of my friend. Cutler looked at the cake from both sides and then asked, “Are you 47 or 74?”

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Matt: Let’s look it up on the internet and find out.

McKay: Okay.

Matt: When I was little you couldn’t just look everything up on the internet.

McKay: You lived in the old days before there was internet?

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Tyson: The orange you sent in my lunch today was moldy.

Me: That means you didn’t clean out your lunch from Friday.

Tyson: I cleaned it out.

Me: I didn’t give you an orange today. Today I gave you blackberries.

Tyson: Oh.

2012

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Me: Did you ask if you could have that?

McKay (looking at his string cheese): Yes. Brayden said I could have it.

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Tyson: Did you see that they are building a Chik-fil-A .

Me: No way! Yay, yay, yay! Finally- Flagstaff will be complete.

The next day in General Conference, it was announced that a temple would be built in Tucson, Arizona.

Me: That’s exciting. Now if they would only build a temple in FLAGSTAFF.

Tyson: That is when Flagstaff would be Complete.

He put me in my place. A temple is certainly more important than a Chik-fil-A J

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Me: Pick up the Donkey.

Cutler: His name is Hotae.

Me: Huh?

Cutler: Don Quixote. Donkey Hotae.

I bet he is one of the only nine year olds that would name a Donkey- Don Quixote! He never stops reading.

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One day I headed out the door with a pan of brownies for a book group. Earlier in the week I had taken a meal to a family and frozen the other half for later. The week before I had taken a dinner to another family and the kids felt jipped out of left-overs. So as I headed out the door with the brownies, this is what I hear:

Cutler: Why does Mommy take all our good food to other people?

It made me smile and I knew that one day he would understand and appreciate it.

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At a summer family party for doctors and their families, Tyson was building a tall tower with over-sized blocks.

He decided to try out the tower by having Cutler stand on it.

One of the doctors reported to Matt that she was wondering aloud if Cutler would fall.

Her daughter attends school with Tyson and told her mom that Cutler would not fall because Tyson knows his Physics.

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McKay: Did you know when I hum, I get all the words right?

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McKay: Why do lunatics crawl inside your skin?

Diana: What?

McKay: Why do lunatics crawl inside your skin?

Diana: Oh! You mean “tics”.

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Me (calling from the basement): McKay, I need your help.

Silence.

Me: McKAY! I NEED YOUR HELP!

Silence.

Me (desperate for anyone): McKAY or CUTLER!

McKay: Cutler, Mommy is calling you.

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A couple months ago, Brayden fell and got a cactus needle stuck in his hand. There are some lessons you only have to learn once. Ever since that time whenever Brayden sees a cactus or anything like unto it he says:

Poke, poke, poke (with a look in his eyes that shows he doesn’t want to encounter that plant).

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On a trip with lots of elevation changes:

Tyson: I need some gum, my ears won’t pop.

Me: Sorry, I don’t have any gum.

McKay: Just give yourself a wet willie. That works for me.

Tyson: That’s gross.

McKay (giving himself a wet willie): See. It works every time.

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Brayden (eating refried beans): mmmm, chocolate. mmmmm, chocolate.

I think someone's had too much candy.

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Matt: Brayden, do you want a hot dog or a sandwich?

Brayden: Candy

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Tyson: My next Math book is Pre-Algebra with Economics.

Cutler: I hope they don’t teach you Romney Economics. They are the worst kind.

Me: What on earth do you mean by “Romney Economics”?

Cutler: All the commercials on TV say that Romney Economics are bad and that he left a state in the most debt and doesn’t know how to make jobs and . . .

Me: When did you watch TV?

Cutler: At the condo in Aspen.

We had a talk about how commercials on TV try to get you to believe things that aren’t always true and that Romney is a person running for president and what people say aren’t always 100% true. They could be true, but we need to do our own research before jumping to a conclusion. It was eye-opening to me to see how a small exposure to something can influence my little guys. We don’t even have TV in our home, but while on vacation in a condo for a week they watched TV for a couple hours every day while Matt worked.

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Tyson (envious over the money Cutler has amassed): What are you going to buy with all your money anyway? Why don’t you ever spend it?

Cutler: I’m saving it.

Tyson: For what?

Cutler (with a big smile): The unknown.

Cutler has saved every penny ever earned or given to him for birthdays, etc. for over two years. A couple days later we had this conversation:

Me: You are all going to go to college, Right?

Tyson, Cutler, & McKay: Yes!

Cutler: I finally figured out what the unknown is.

Me (not remembering his previous allusion): What do you mean?

Cutler: The “unknown” that I am saving for. It’s college.

That made me so happy J

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You know you are a mom of all boys if:

*Hangers frequently disappear to become bows and arrows.

*Kitchen and vacuum accessories turn into swords and guns.

*Dinnertime conversation somehow eventually evolves into a discussion (or display) of bodily functions.

*the toilet is never flushed.

*No matter how many rocks you clean out of pockets, you still end up washing several treasures.

*Your boys have spitting contests when brushing their teeth, accenting all the bathroom fixtures.

*In addition, they think the toothpaste is paint and smear (or fling) it everywhere.

*You don’t want to be in the same car with them because of the aforementioned bodily functions.

*You always have someone to open your door for you.

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Brayden walks around the house all the time saying: happy, happy, happy (he usually means help me, but it is cute to hear him)

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Brayden (sitting in my lap while I am painting nails): Me try. Me try. Me try.

I consistently moved the nail polish and kept trying to do my best to paint nails.

Brayden (frustrated by my efforts not to let him try): Share!

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Me: Brayden, do you want Mommy or Daddy to take you to bed?

Brayden: Matt

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Since I put the funny things the kids do, it is only fair I add my own blunders …

Me: (in a big rush) Oh no! I put celery salt on the cinnamon toast.

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McKay: Are we having OAKmeal for breakfast?

Cutler: Only beavers eat OAKmeal. We are eating Oatmeal.

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Cutler: That was the shortest old person prayer I ever heard.

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Matt volunteers in McKay’s kindergarten classroom on a regular basis. The teacher asked the kids call him Dr. Dunn.

There is one girl in the class who always forgets his name and calls him Dr. Seuss.

Since I often volunteer as well, another boy cannot seem to keep him straight and calls him Mrs. Dunn.

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I was going through some of my old pictures and showing them to the boys. While looking at some from my high school years, this was the conversation.

Tyson: That is not you. That looks like a movie star.

Cutler: Yeah. That picture looks like a movie star so it is definitely not you.

McKay: That person was in a movie we just watched. That is not you.

Translation: You do not look like a movie star. If that picture looks like a movie star it could not be youJ.

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Tyson: What is the difference between a car and a Dunn boy?

The boys: What?

Tyson: A car runs out of gas!

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2011

McKay: Where there is a will, there is a way.

Me: What does that mean?

McKay: That if you have a wheel and you need a wagon, there is a way.

Cutler: It doesn’t mean that kind of wheel. It is a different will.

McKay: Uh-huh

Cutler: It could be a car wheel or a wagon wheel or any kind of wheel.

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Matt (to a patient that couldn’t remember the name of their medication): Is it Coumadin?

Patient: Is that a spice?

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Cutler (from inside a fort): Art thou a friend or a foe.

McKay: A friend, let me in.

Cutler: That is not the password. Ye are not allowed to come in.

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McKay: When is Cutler’s bath-tism?

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Cutler: Why does Terry have to work?

Me: That’s one of the yucky things about growing up. You have to work.

Cutler: That’s not the only bad thing.

Me: What else is bad?

Cutler: You have to kiss [girls]. Yuk.

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Me: McKay, come upstairs.

McKay: I can’t hear you.

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McKay: Did not.

Cutler: Did too.

McKay: Did not.

Cutler: Did too.

(and so on and so forth)

Me: Boys, be kind.

Cutler: What were we saying did not, did too for anyway?

McKay: I don’t know.

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McKay: Do you know what?

Me: What?

McKay: During Closing Exercises all we do is sit and sit and all they do [the teachers] is talk and talk. Nobody does any exercising.

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2010

Tyson: Can I open the present that has the Blokus game in it?

Me: How did you know that present was Blokus?

Tyson: oops.

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McKay: Will you call Grandma and Grandpa?

Me: I already tried. They were not home.

McKay: Do you know their “away” phone number?

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Cutler: I already paid you a box of nerds.

Tyson: I guess you can count that.

Dad: What are you paying Tyson a box of nerds for?

Cutler: Safe storage fees for my candy and other stuff.

Dad (to Tyson): You are charging your brother to store stuff for him.

Tyson (defensively): I keep it at my desk and keep it safe from McKay and he pays me.

Dad (to Cutler): You are trusting and paying Tyson to store your stuff?

Dad (to Tyson): I can’t believe you are taking advantage of your brother like that!

(Has anyone ever read The Great Brain series of books. We have a Tom on our hands.)

Cutler: Wait a minute, I am trusting the enemy! He’s gonna eat my stuff :0).

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McKay went upstairs without turning a light on, and boasting of his accomplishment he proudly declared that he wasn’t afraid of anything.

Later that night he was talking to some ladies who were visiting me. They asked him if he likes dogs.

McKay: I like dogs, but big dogs sca… (stops in the middle of the word, not willing to admit that they scare him. He Goes on excitedly. . .) OH WAIT! I FORGOT. I am not afraid of anything!

The way he declared it so brazenly was too cute.

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I gave the boys summer buzzes for their haircuts in June. McKay looked in the mirror and could barely see any hair because he was so blonde. He was very unhappy with his haircut, but got used to it. Several days later he was even more dismayed when he looked in the mirror and found what the sun had done to his eyebrows.

McKay (in tears): Now I don’t have any eyebrows! What am I going to do?

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McKay is certainly getting creative in his excuses for why he can’t help me…

Me: McKay, will you pick that up and put it away?

McKay: I can’t Mommy. I am on my way to the Revolution.

Later in the day. . .

Matt: McKay will you go get me my cell phone?

McKay: I can’t Daddy. I need to get to the French and Indian War.

A few days later. . .

Me: McKay, will you help me?

McKay: I can’t. I am General Gage and the soldiers need me to lead them.

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McKay: Daddy, we learned about the Silver War today! (Civil War)

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We have been working on being grateful even when you don't like something. So this was a recent comment at dinner.

McKay: (in a whiny voice) Mommy . . . (recognizing that he is being whiny and changing his tone) Thank you for this yucky dinner.

At least he remembered to say "Thank You"

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Cutler: Look, I made a Uka-lady! (He meant ukaleke)

Tyson: My feet are starting to be like Daddy’s feet (meaning rough)

Cutler: You mean they are all hairy?

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Tyson started singing a song today while they were in their room "supposedly" putting laundry away. It is to the tune of The Monkees Theme Song . . .

"Hey, hey we're the Dunns, People say we're always done, We're so busy being done, that we never get started . . . Hey, hey we're the Dunns . . ."

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McKay (as he goes outside on a bright spring morning): Oh, the sun is oniony today.

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Me (singing to McKay): You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me . . .(I sing to the end of the song).

McKay: Let me see what's in your mouth.

I open my mouth to show him I don't have anything.

McKay: You don't have a friend in you.

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Matt worked a two week period of working nights and sleeping during the day. He had one 24 hour period off and so was awake during the day.

McKay: Daddy, it's daytime. You're supposed to be asleep!

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2009

Me: McKay, we need to brush your teeth.

McKay (running away): NO WAY!

Me: If you don't brush your teeth, you will lose them.

McKay: YES! I am never going to brush my teeth. I WANT to lose them like Cutler.

Bad timing on my part. Cutler just barely started losing his teeth. Oops!

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Cutler (looking up from a book he has been intently reading): It says here that Robinson Crusoe didn't have ANYONE to talk to. That is not true.

Me: Why isn't it true?

Cutler: Because you can ALWAYS talk to Heavenly Father.

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A dinnertime conversation between Tyson and Cutler:

Tyson: I am ready to retire from being the person that goes and gets everything we need. Do you want to take over that job?

Cutler: No, you can keep doing it.

Tyson: Ohhhh. Are you sure? It is a great job.

Cutler: No way.

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I had the flu last week and sat on the couch with a bucket by me. Each time I would throw up Mckay and Cutler would run and watch and then McKay would clap his hands and say, "More Mommy! More!"

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Cutler (through an entire 3 minutes of time out in a very agonizing voice): If you don't let me go to the bathroom I am going to pee my pants. It is going to be all your fault. I need to go BAAAD. Please let me go. Do you want me to go pee right here?

You get the idea. Finally time-out is over.

Me: You can go to the bathroom now. It is amazing that you need to go EVERY time you are on time out.

Cutler (running to the bathroom): It is my body's way of getting off time out.

At least he admits it.

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Tyson (washing his nose in water and tears streaming down his cheek): My nose is burning. It's burning. It hurts.

Me: What have you been playing with outside?

Tyson: Just dirt?

Me (trying to figure out how dirt could make a nose burn): What dirt?

Tyson: In the garden boxes.

Me (having a sudden revelation): Ahhh. Have you been playing with the red peppers I told you to leave alone?
Tyson (shamefacedly but still in pain): Yes.

Me: And then did you pick your nose?

Tyson (still in pain): Yes.

Me: That explains it.

Later when the pain had worn off:

Dad: Note to self. Don't play with hot red peppers and pick your nose!

Laughter even from Tyson!

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Deciding who is going to be "it" for freeze tag.

Me: Bubblegum, bubblegum, in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?

My finger lands on McKay . . .

McKay: All of them.

-----
McKay's rasperry picking method: pick one. eat it. pick one. eat it. pick one. eat it. pick one. eat it. . . .

Notices my full basket and looks in his.

McKay (with a melancholy tone): My basket is empty. Will you share with me?

-----
After two days back in Delaware, McKay apparantly had enough of it.

McKay (with a very forlorn look and sad tone): Can we go back to Grandma and Grandpa's house?

-----
Cutler: Can I have a snack?

Me: Have you had your 3 fruits and vegetables?

Cutler: Yes, I had an apple, corn, and watermelon taffy!

-----
Cutler's Primary Teacher (as related to me): Why is it important to be reverent during the sacrament?

Cutler: Because Heavenly Father wants us to be BOOORRREED.

------
It must have been a great day in church because Cutler also had a question for the singing teacher after they learned a song about families. He didn't think I fit the mold:

Cutler: Can I borrow that poster so I can take it home and teach my mom what she is supposed to be doing?

If he only knew how good he had it!

-----
Cutler: It is so hard to be old.

Me: Why is it hard?

Cutler: Because you have to do all the work and everyone calls you kid. I'm not a kid anymore.

-----
My parents have a cuckoo clock that they brought back from Switzerland that plays the tune Edelweiss. It started going off and brought an excited McKay running across the room.

McKay: The ice cream truck is coming! The ice cream truck is coming!

Imagine his disappointment to find it was just a clock making all that noise :-).

----
As we began to taxi out of the airport in Philadelphia, Cutler employed his reading skills and read all the names on the airplanes and buildings . . .

Cutler: Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta, Delta . . .

Five hours later we flew into the Salt Lake City Airport.

Cutler: Delta . . . They just brought us back to Delta!

-----

I went downstairs to make breakfast and noticed the leftover brownies from Family Night. I quickly devoured a brownie and Cutler walked in the kitchen as I finished.

Cutler: Can I have a brownie? (not knowing I had just finished one)

Me (saying): No, you shouldn't have brownies before breakfast.

Me (thinking): I am such a hypocrite!!! I hope I don't have any brownies on my teeth!!!

-----
Cutler (toward the end of a hike, but we were not sure where we were): I don't think my weary legs can go any further.

For the record Cutler, your weary legs made it. You can do anything you put your mind to, even when it doesn't seem possible.

------

McKay's Nursery Teacher: McKay, who is in your family?

McKay: My mom, and dad, and Tyson, and Cutler, and Me

Teacher: What makes you a family?

McKay: uh . . . because we pray together!

-----
Me (at the pool): No running McKay!

McKay changes his trot but keeps up the pace.

Me: McKay, please don't run!

McKay: I am not running, I am skipping.

Me: No running or skipping.

McKay (changes his trot but keeps up the pace): I am not running or skipping, I am galloping.

Me: McKay WALK!

-----
2008

Tyson: Tomorrow, can I wear some perfume under my armpits?

Me: (doing very well at maintaining a straight face): Do you mean deodorant?

Tyson: No, I want to smell good.

Me: Perfume makes you smell like a girl.

Tyson: Well, that other stuff for boys then. What's it called?

Me: Do you mean cologne?

Tyson: Oh yeah! Cologne. I want to wear some of that under my armpit.

-----
I walked outside to check on the kids. It was pouring rain and a bunch of the neighborhood kids were playing basketball. Cutler was standing to the side holding an umbrella over one of the girls. He is such a sweetie!

-----
McKay: (while I am pushing him on a swing) Push me until my toes touch the ceiling.

That brought back fun memories of wanting to reach the sky in the swing.

-----
Cutler: (with a new watch learning to tell time). It is 3:60.

Me: When the long hand gets to the 12, it means it is a new hour and you say that it is 3 o'clock.

Cutler: (an hour later) It is 4:12.

Me: Closer. When the long hand gets to the 12, it means you say it is 4 o'clock.

Cutler: (an hour later) It is 5:00!

YAY!

------
Me: This is your last time going down the slide, okay?

McKay: Okay- this is my last time. (goes down the slide)

This is my other last time now mommy.
-----
Cutler: Can I just fix the mistakes when my teacher tells me to?

Me: No, fix it now and then your teacher will say, "Wow, your homework is perfect. No mistakes!"

Cutler: She never says that.

Me: Well, she will think it.

Cutler: She doesn't even think it. I am a mind reader and I can read what people are saying in their minds.

-----
McKay: Daddy let me ride on your head [shoulders].

Daddy: Here you go.

McKay: Daddy! Look at the sun. It is following us!

-----
McKay came running to me during a thunderstorm, with the most terrified face I have ever seen on him. He was so scared.

McKay: Mommy it's scary. There is lightning McQueen.

Daddy: You don't need to be scared. It is outside and we are inside.

BOOOOM

McKay: (Ducking into me) Save me mommy!

-----
McKay: (holding out a measuring tape) What is this for?

Me: It is to measure myself. I measure and then read that it says, "Mommy Dunn, practically perfect in every way." (I knew the boys would recognize this from Mary Poppins)

Cutler: (laughing) You are not!

Me: What?!?! Why not? (and yes, I was asking for it by asking that question)

Cutler: Because you have squishy places where you are supposed to have bone.

I was grateful that it was not an attack on my character :-). Cutler just so happens to have an incredibly skinny kindergarten teacher that he must be comparing me to.

-----
A couple of cute phrases from McKay

Can we go to Delphee-Delphee-uh again? (Philadelphia)

Look at the pretty blutterflies.

------
Tyson: Did you hear the song that says what little boys are made of?

Me: What did it say little boys are made of?

Tyson: Frogs, and snails, and puppy dog tails

Me: Do you believe that?

Tyson: No

Me: What would you say they are made of?

Tyson: Cells

Me: You got me there!

------
We went to have dinner with Matt last weekend at the hospital. In the middle of dinner, Matt was paged and had to leave in a rush.

McKay: (sobbing and following Matt) Where's daddy going? Daddy come back!

Me: It's okay, daddy went to take care of a baby.

McKay: (instantly happy and excited) Daddy's going to get us a baby!?!

------
Tyson: Jumping Catfish!

Me: Where did you learn that phrase?

Tyson: The Hardy Boys.

(Days and months later) Everytime McKay said something funny and I asked him where he learned that:

McKay: The Hardy Boys

-----
Cutler: Mommy, you're the best cook in the whole wide world. You must have a secret ingredient that no one else has.

(I don't know what he has to compare me to, but that was very sweet!)

-----
Cutler: Here McKay, you can have this backpack. I don't need it.

McKay: Wow, thanks Cutler! Now I get to go to school.

Mommy: Not quite yet.

McKay: I have a backpack!

Mommy: Sorry, in a couple years.

McKay: umph (with lower lip sticking out).

-----
Daddy: McKay, don't squash me!

McKay (incredulously): I'm not squashing you daddy, I'm SQUISHING you!

-------
Mommy: Is Daddy a doctor?

McKay (laughing): Daddy's not a doctor. He doesn't have his costume on.

Mommy: What does Daddy do?

McKay: He helps people feel better.

Mommy: Is he a doctor?

McKay: No, he wears his costume to work.

--------
McKay (worried): Daddy, don't squash mommy flat as a pancake!

--------
Tyson: (while talking about cub scouts) If you want to earn a marriage badge . . .(that would be merit badge)

-------
During Sacrament Meeting at church on Sunday, the primary kids went up front and sang a Christmas song. McKay wanted to go sing with them and even though he isn't officially "primary", I let him go because he knows the song.

After church someone stopped me to tell me how cute the boys are and how much he enjoyed watching all three of them sing up front.

Cutler walked by at that very moment and belched as loud as he possibly could and kept walking.

Uh, yah, did you say cute?!?

----
McKay's Prayers:
Thank thee for this day,
Thank thee for the prophets,
(open eyes) Thank thee for spoons,
(close eyes) Thank thee for my family,
(open eyes) Thank thee for the decorations,
(close eyes) Thank thee that Santa will be nice,
(open eyes) Thank thee for my friends,
(close eyes) Thank thee for the food we eat,
(open eyes) Thank thee for our table and chairs,
(close eyes) Thank thee for the birds that sing,
(open eyes) Thank thee for Tyson putting my bib on,
(close eyes) Thank thee that Daddy is at work,
And so on and so on and so on. I have never heard a kid pray so long. It is so cute and a reminder not to be in a hurry and rushed.

-----
Cutler: You're not the boss of me McKay!

McKay: Yes I are.

Cutler: No you are not!

McKay (in a complete breakdown and crying): He says I am not the boss. My am the boss.

I did not realize that he knew the extent of his role in the house . . . he is the boss. What a kid!

----
Me: Are you a big boy?

McKay (very seriously): No, I am teeny. But when I grow up, I'm going to be a rocket ship (as he demonstrates by swishing his hand through the air.)

Me (trying not to laugh): What is a rocket ship?

McKay: It flies!

Me: Where does it fly?

McKay: In the air.

Earlier in the day, I had read him a book about a tree that wanted to grow up and be a ship. I was amazed at his ability to internalize that concept, decide what he wanted to be, and vocalize it to me later in the day. If a tree can be a ship . . . I can be a rocket ship.

------

2007
Cutler: I only want 2 things for Christmas.

Me: What is that?

Cutler: Two of Santa's Reindeer.

Me: Really? What would you do with Santa's Reindeer?

Cutler: I would be able to fly anywhere I wanted!

(Just an aside- when Matt was young he asked his mom for a horse. He told her he would keep it in his closet and that he would clean up the poop every day. Matt and Cutler must think on the same brainwaves.)

----
After rollerskating with McKay for about 1/2 hour, he took me over to a bench and sat me down. He started to skate toward the rink and turned and pointed at me and said, "You stay there Mommy." Translation: "Mommy, you are driving me crazy- stay there!"

-----
McKay (plugging his ears): I can't see, I can't see! Someone turned it off. (I think he meant, I can't hear!)

-----

At 6:30 in the morning as I am trying to get just a few more minutes of sleep.

Cutler (whispering): Mommy.

I roll over and moan something about sleep.

Cutler: Mommy, I have to tell you something important.

Me: Okay, tell me.

Cutler: If you see an elephant that has big ears, then you know it is from Africa. If it has small ears then it is from Asia.

Me: Thanks Cutler.

Cutler: You're welcome. Now you know in case you see an elephant.

He obviously learned about elephants the day before in school and was excited to share his knowledge at 6:30 in the morning. I am glad his teacher is helping him gain an enthusiasm for learning. I am constantly hearing . . . Did you know that . . .

-----
McKay (pointing to the elevator): Let's go in the alligator.

----
I was reading to Tyson from a textbook about how contractions are shortened words.

Tyson (with a sly smile): But I thought only women could have contractions!

----
Mom: You are going to have a babysitter tonight.

Cutler: Where are you going?

Mom: Daddy and I are going on a date.

Cutler: But you're already married.

Mom: But we love each other still.

Cutler: Eeewwww!

-----

Overheard at a church social:

Cutler (to Gabi's grandfather): I made friends with Gabi today.

Grandfather: You did! I am glad you made friends.

Cutler: I am practicing how to make friends for when I go to school. I just go up to someone and ask their name and start playing with them.

Grandfather: That is good to practice.

Cutler: I practice all the time. At the store, at home, at playgroup.

Grandfather: And at church on Sundays too.

Cutler: No, it is too busy at church!

**Cutler does practice making friends. It is so cute. He will just walk up to someone and ask their name and tell them his name. It was funny that he saw church as being "too busy"!

---
At an information session about composting where our kids were the only kids there:

Presenter: What do worms leave in the ground?

Silence followed by Tyson: Poop!

Presenter: Yes! Why is that important?

Tyson: Because it has nutrients and other things that the plants and soil use.

A little later:

Presenter: (holding up 2 egg cartons) Which one of these can be composted?

Tyson: (pointing to the correct one) That one.

Presenter: Why?

Tyson: Because it is made of organic material. We know that because it comes from a tree and a tree is alive. If something is made from something that is alive then it is organic and it can decompose in a compost pile.

---
McKay: (after he accomplishes anything hard like getting dressed, setting the table, putting his shoes on) Ta Da! I did it!

---
Matt: I always wanted to be a composer.

Tyson: You never became a composer, but now you're a DECOMPOSER.

----
Culter: Can you stop exercising mom?

Me (confused): Why do you want me to stop exercising?

Cutler: So that your tummy can start to get bigger.

Me (catching on): Oh! Why do you want my tummy to get bigger?

Cutler: So that we can have a baby sister.

---
The next day at a store I put a shirt for me in a cart. . .

Cutler: Is that for a sister?

Me (thinking he is asking if it is something for a girl): Yes.

Cutler: Well, just so you know it is going to be way too big.

Me (catching on again): Oh! You mean for a baby sister-- no it is for mommy.

Cutler (dejected): Oh.

---
McKay (when he comes out of his room after his nap): I had a good nap mommy.

Me: I'm so glad!

McKay (coming out 15 minutes after I put him down to bed for the night): I had a good nap mommy.

If only you could see his huge smile.

------
McKay: Play ball wi' me? -or- Play cars wi' me? -or- Play horsey wi' me? -or- Play blocks wi' me?

All day long McKay will come ask me to play something with him in a cute intonation that seems to say I know I am so cute and you can't say no if I ask like this. (And I can’t)

----
Me: You're Cute

McKay: No, you're cute.

Me: No, you're cute.

McKay: No, you're cute.

And on and on. He loves to play this game.

---
Me: I love you McKay.

McKay: I know

------
Cutler (as he is hiding a treat under my pillow): Mommy which pillow is yours?

Me (pointing): That one.

Cutler: Don't look now. Look before you go to bed. But if you forget, then wake me up and I will tell you to look. And if you go to sleep first, then wake me up at midnight.
-------
Tyson: What's a dork?

Me: What context do you mean? (Meaning--- Where did you learn that word?)

Tyson: Like in Snow White and the Seven Dorks

------
Daddy: Are you cute?

McKay: Yes I are.

------
Man (watching me with the 3 boys in a restaurant): Are these ALL yours?

Me: Yes

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me that I have my hands full, I would be rich. Those were the next words I expected him to say and prepared myself. But he surprised me.
Man (with a big smile): My, you are sure lucky.

Yes, I am lucky and every time someone tells me I have my hands full now, I tell them that I sure am lucky.

The Dunn Haven

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Thursday, September 15, 2016

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